Thursday, May 30, 2013

Before I begin I must say a couple things. Firstly, it is very difficult to type when you chopped off the top of your finger and have your pointer bandaged up to the size of a sausage. I have a few posts in process, but my inability to type without hitting four keys at a time with my clumbsy finger has been somewhat limiting. My finger is mostly healed now. Secondly, it's storming outside and I am feeling incredibly meloncholy and dreary, but in a good way. "Sad is happy for deep people" (Doctor Who).

I was originally going to post about absolute truth and then it evolved into extending grace and then it turned into a post about balance and then about whether or not I should "Carpe the Diem" and then somehow it became about perfectionism and then living under a cloud of shame. I'm scratching all of that now and saving it for a later date. My brain is foggy and I need to rest. Writer's block happens when you don't sleep and run around like a madwoman without a minute to take a breath.

I have dinner plans tonight. I'm looking forward to it, but as you well know people tend to drain more that refuel me. I need relationships but also want to curl up in a ball and never talk to anyone ever. I confuse myself. I had plans for tomorrow night, but I canceled them. I need to breathe. I need to have a night where I get home at 5:15 and change immediately into pajamas and stare off into never space.

The good news is that I have 4 hours of driving ahead of me this weekend. 4 hours in a car with Amanda. We will talk about everything under the sun and hopefully that will inspire some writing. But, for now, my mind is entirely full but weariness is preventing me from expressing any of it. I'll be back next week.

Yesterday I drove my little 3 and 5 year old friends home from school. I told them about my plans to drive up to Sebastian this weekend and have a picnic on the bay. You can sometimes spot dolphins and manatees there. Wide-eyed, the 3 year old said to me, "Miss Lyndsay, what if I was on a dock and then it catched on fire and I fell in the bay and all the manatees and dolphins ate my face!?!?!"


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