Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Chill Out.

If you were able to look through my draft list, you would see many unfinished and befuddled half posts about perfectionism and trying to be superwoman and over-doing it and trying (read "failing") to find balance in life and crashing and burning.

I still haven't quite figured it out. I know that I have a tendency to take on too much and that I am a perfectionist. I realize that I need to start saying "no" and that I need to not be frustrated with myself when my "best" isn't as "perfect" as I would like. My body is telling me that I am not superwoman and I'm having a difficult time getting the message. When things like restless nights and migraines and asthma attacks---perfect excuses for taking it easy---didn't have any results, my body said, "that's it!", and I got a cold. Even then I was resistent. I still went to a friends house for a movie night, and, with a fever, I went to the fruitstand and made soup for my family. And then I went to work two days straight. I just hate not being productive. So, then I was stricken with the full-on flu. There was no fighting it this time. I have never been so sick in my entire life. I slept for 18 hours straight 2 days in a row. I didn't get out of bed for 3 days straight. On Sunday, I slept in until 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I finally got the message. I let myself be. I didn't force myself to do anything....anything. I just rested. It was amazing.

I'm going to attempt being kind to myself and taking things slower. I'm going to rest when I need to and sometimed just because. I'm going to not always try to be awesome. Sometimes being mediocre is okay. I'm letting myself off the hook. Let's see how long this lasts.....


  1. Wow -- fellow asthmatic as well. At 46 I will tell you...keep an eye on it. We sound a lot alike. Add a couple of kids, stressful job, etc. and out of control asthma equals too much prednisone = being useless for weeks = depression, anxiety and hospital. Please pay attention to your asthma and all the other signals. Stress can trigger asthma--(you already know that I am sure) but you think you can handle it all--until you can't. Be nice to you!

    1. Yes! I dropped my inhaler and it imploded on my friend's driveway the night I had that asthma attack. It was so weird since I haven't had any issues with my asthma in years! Stress definitely is the main trigger, but this asthma attack was a fluke! I will be going to the doctor soon though, just to be safe. :)
      Thanks for the advice...I certainly want to avoid it spiralling out of control.