My brain is a foggy mess. It's so frustrating. I keep sitting down in front of my computer, waiting for the thoughts and words to flow......nothing. I got nothing. I think that the ridiculously high fever I had last week fried my brain.
I wrote something today just to keep in the habit of writing. I think I have something good'ish. It just needs some help before I publish it. But, my blog posts are becoming more and more infrequent and so I feel like I need to post something in the mean time....until my brain allows me to string a coherent sentence together at least.
I wrote this a long, long time ago. It's a dream I had. It's kind of personal and I don't know how I feel about sharing it. But, anyways, here it is:
I was walking along the pier. As I strolled, I looked down at the wooden boards and read the words "dad", "church", "friends"....specific names of specific people I loved. I stopped on "dad" and the ground beneath me began to quake ever so slightly and then more and more and suddenly the board began to shake so terribly that I jumped and landed on the board next me just in time for the nails to loose and watch the plank fall into the sea. I looked in the crack where it had been and saw sharks swimming in the waters. My heart began to race and hands began to tremble as I felt the floor shake again. I looked down and saw the word "church". Again, I jumped just in the knick of time. This continued as I jumped from wooden board to wooden board with the names of the friends I put so much faith in. Finally, I jumped on last remaining plank. It stood there, resolute and unwaivering. Carved deep into the wood was the name, "Jesus". I tested it, jumped up and down. It didn't budge. Finally, I knew I was safe. But, the sharks still circled below me and looking down made me dizzy and doubt my safety. The fear of falling was somehow pulling me towards the edge. I dangled my feet over the side and they tingled with fright. Then I pulled them up and hugged my legs tight and lay down on the wood and stared at his name and felt safe again. It went on and on like this: almost falling, finding my footing, almost falling again.
Hoping that a relaxing weekend at the waterpark with my 'lil sis taking it easy will help me get back to living again. I am going to attempt getting back on to my early morning writing routine next week.