Thursday, March 7, 2013

“The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing — to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from — my country, the place where I ought to have been born. Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home? For indeed it now feels not like going, but like going back.”--Till We Have Faces

Joshua 3:1-4:24. It's an amazing story. Just as he did to the Red Sea, God causes the waters of the Jordan river to pile up creating a dry path for the whole nation of Israel and the ark of the covenant to be brought through safely to the Promised Land. When they had finished crossing, Joshua told twelve men from the tribes of Jacob to find stones from the middle of the Jordan and place them on the bank. No sooner had they stepped out of the river when God released the walls of water and they returned to their place. The twelve stones were set there on the shores of the Jordan river as a memorial to God's omnipotence. The Israelites were instructed that when their children saw these monuments and asked what they were for, their parents would be given the opportunity to tell this awe inspiring story because "He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God.”

Memorials are such a sacred way of remembering and giving recognition to change and grace and His great faithfulness. The thought that throughout your life you could erect concrete, physical evidence of the amazing ways that He has moved and wowed is an exciting one indeed.

I shared this photo on Linden Tree a few days ago:


In 100 Cupboards the main character, Henry, moves to his aunt and uncles house. In his room, he discovers a wall covered in cupboard doors....each one unique from the other and each one leading to a different world. Oooohh! Goosebumps! Stories like this inspired my play as a child. My sisters and I would always pretend that we were ordinary children who happened upon portals to other worlds. I swam through a hole in a coral reef during a holiday at the seaside and found on the other side a magical, mermaid underworld. I crawled through storage cabinets and discovered an ornate door engraved in enchanted symbols that led to a land that was forever midnight and ruled by an evil warlock. There was a door on the shelf above the washing machine that led to Narnia and a cabinet door we placed under our bed that led to Middle Earth. We even built a tesseract to travel to Camazotz.
The thought that other worlds are somewhere out there has always intrigued me. There has always been a longing in my heart for "somewhere else". I don't think it ever was just only play.  That searching under beds and in cupboards and on shelves and in the ocean was never really for Narnia or Middle Earth or Osprey or whatever other country my imagination conceived. I think that my soul knew that I didn't belong here and I was just trying to find the answer to where and how I could get there.

And, one day after 13 long, exhausting years of searching for the reason behind the longing I heard nine words that brought a dazzlingly bright light of understanding to my world.

"You did not choose me, but I chose you."

And I realized then that I could have never found the answer or my way home all on my own. Not in my own strength.  And, the one who spoke these words took my hand and showed me that not this world nor these other worlds would ever quench the thirst for home. That my citizenship was now in heaven. And, so the searching on my own ended and the yearning of my heart met and my question answered.  And, he confirmed what I had always felt deep down: I don't belong here.

And, that is why I have cabinet doors hanging on my wall. It's a memorial to the day that I realized the answer. It's a reminder that my forever home is waiting for me. I know now that the way to it isn't behind one of those doors; He is the way, the truth and the life.


“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now...Come further up, come further in!”--The Last Battle

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