Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Umpteenth Time's the Charm.

I'm going to attempt blogging once again. I believe that this is at least my 5th blog. I've stuck with some for a few months, maybe even a year or two, and then I'll go back and read my posts only to be horrified at what a shallow person I am. I'm not exactly pleased with my writing style either. I go back and read and say to myself that If I came across this blog I would not want to be this girls friend, and then I delete the blog in a sort of ceremonious "destroying all memory of the old, inferior self to allow this new found pursuit of maturity to take wing". Anyways, I am going to make one more feeble attempt at blogging and we shall see how it goes. I think I'll keep this one private for a while, and then if I prove to be somewhat faithful in updating, then I shall reveal it the world. That way people won't find me to be quite so fickle.

I created this blog a year ago. I visited the Jakobitz family (dear friends) and during my time there I was inspired to blog once again. I remember Auntie saying that blogging can be a form of praise. It's making the conscious decision to take a moment during the day, no matter how stressful you are and notice one of God's blessings. Sometimes, or should I say most of the time I will focus on all the negatives. The truth is I spend far too much time and energy "Alas-ing" and "Woe-is-me-ing" and hardly any time noticing and thanking God for the big and small beauties surrounding me. With a blog I could train myself to have a more grateful heart. What she said made quite an impact on me. I was so convicted and upon my return home, I started "The Linden Tree Isle". I stuck with it for two posts. Impressive? Yes, I know. But, although I may have not become a blog addict, it did change my perspective. I don't post it online, but I do take more time to take little mental snapshots that bring me joy. Instead of focusing on the traffic rushing past, and smell the stink of our polluted suburban air as I walk out the library, I try and notice the little spot of grass with those braided, entangled roots that brings my imagination to the Shire. Maybe this is where Frodo would sit and read a book.
So, all this to say, thank you, Auntie M. I don't think you had any idea when you made that passing comment about blogs you made my mind go into a whirlwind of thoughts, convictions, intense self hate, and once I calmed down and talked myself through this, I had the resolve and the excitement to pursue not only contentment, but joy in my life. I still fail miserably, but I'm trying.

All that to say, I am going to try once more to not only have this mindset, but to also publish it via the blogosphere. So that if I ever lose sight and forget this importance, I can go back and be reminded. And, hopefully, since this blog is meant to have a more serious tone, I will not in a rash moment delete it.

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